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Breaking the metaphorical champagne bottle on the ship.

champagneWhere should I begin? Probably with letters.  String a few together and you have a word. A few dozen of those and suddenly there’s a paragraph. I know it doesn’t sound too complicated,  but right now…the basics are about all I can handle.

It’s January. The beginning of a New Year, the promise of a fresh start, and a million facebook posts about crunches and low carb crock pot recipes for the busy mom. Whoopeeee!! Can you feel my excitement?! Fast forward two weeks and the 99% are back to instagramming pictures of their dinner and checking in at bars. Though, I wish you all luck!

I’ve never really been one to set resolutions for myself. If I did, it was the same as above…the usual “lose weight and eat healthier for a new me!” horse crap that I abandoned by 4pm, face deep in a plate of nachos and a glass of Coke, always with a promise of doing better tomorrow. And…though I eventually did just that, which I no doubt will fill this blog with annoying details about in the near future, it wasn’t a New Year’s declaration to the world. It was a normal Saturday that I just woke up and decided I was tired of being me. Which brings me to the subject at hand: Me. You might have noticed the title of this blog, or perhaps the catchy url. They both give a clue about what I hope to accomplish here. You see, I’m a little lost. Not in a geographical sense; I’m pretty confident in that area. While typing this I’ve been in my house, either snuggled in my bed or possibly on the toilet (though I’m a lady so I would NEVER admit to that!). The kind of lost I’m talking about is the kind that is hard to describe. It is an emotional or spiritual cluster that comes when you’ve spent the majority of your life only being partially yourself in any given situation, giving different versions of you to different people, never really letting any one person see all of you. The reasons for this behavior may range from protecting yourself from hurt all the way to needing to feel accepted, but the end result is the focus here. The end is that you’ve been only bits and pieces of yourself for so long that eventually you forget how they all fit back together.  That’s the kind of lost I am and I am NOT a fan. So, in an effort to put together every beautifully messy piece that is Megan and see what she looks like whole, I have committed 2014 to me. The best way I know how to do that is to write, honestly, from my heart with no inhibitions. So here we are. Blog number 1 of 365 (or since I already promised honesty it’s more likely going to be 1 of 150+). I can’t promise you much. The content may be profoundly moving or it could be the ravings of an overworked mom, but I promise, it will be me.

Now most of you that know me and decide to read this will have no clue that I am anything less than a happily married, amazingly witty, super mom who jogs in her spare time and takes a pretty good selfie. To those of you, I say, “Surprise! I’m a basket case and my life is in shambles.”

Happy 2014. What’s your commitment?

Photo courtesy of iStock.

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