Tell Someone I Love You Today: Controlled Silence & “Man Cards”

Before we get to this week’s blog, let me give you a little insight into how the Tell Someone I Love You Today blog happens. Many professional and fancy blogophiles have a centered audience and theme. As you’ve probably noticed by now, I don’t. One week is about ranching and the next is about living in an Ice Palace. That’s because I let my kids help me decide what to write about each week. They are part of #thecircus, they might as well have a chance to take part in it. So we usually sit down on Sunday afternoon to decide what to write about. They throw out ideas, we talk about them, laugh at many and then I go to work. I hit the keyboard, spit out a rough draft on Sunday and then sit on it. I try to freshen it up by Tuesday. Erica goes to work to do a quick proof and make sure I have their and there, are and our, and many other things correct. I add a few pictures to it and then hit the schedule button. The blog is done! I don’t watch it, review it a thousand times and worry about what people think. I’m not a blogger. I’m a teacher, rancher, father, husband, and life liver. I’m extremely humbled that you read it, share it, and comment on it. I hope you find true pleasure in reading it, because it’s just life. We’ve all been there and we all live it.

So this week’s topic was silence!! I actually laughed out loud when they said that. It was like an AMEN moment for me. My life is filled with noise, lots of noise. I encounter 100+ students a day that like to talk, a lot. All of them at some point saying “Mr. Boyer, Mr. Boyer.” I answer a thousand questions a day. Some of them you don’t want to know and some of them you’d just look at a student in disbelief and say “what”. That is in the middle of phone calls, shop hammers, grinders, welders, PA announcements, emails, and music usually playing from something. I then pop on a podcast or audible book for a 45-minute ride home while asking homework questions, checking on their day, and still trying to teach a kid some basic sight words. I stop nightly at the door to say a quick prayer before entering the minefield of Perry/Linda echo location moments, all stirred in with Gus and Kenzie noise.

You have the happy and giggly Perry. The simple, uncomfortable Perry moan. The smashed cat “Linda” cry that is a bit louder in pitch and forcefulness and the trapped raccoon scream. The trapped raccoon is a code red, level 4 situation. All of these can quickly elevate if not resolved with proper rocking, side to side swinging, ideal temperature feeding, or diaper changing. Trapped raccoon crying is serious. Everyone is on point when that happens. It includes lower lip quivering and furrowed eyebrows. All the while, Gus is yelling that the baby is crying and we’re just trying to get somebody in the shower, dinner finished, cows checked, feeding done, and get a load of laundry put in.

Like all problems, you adapt and overcome though. Call it some geriatric parenting wisdom. So now, Perry goes to feed cows. Riding in the tractor and pickup is soothing. If you’re going outside to do something in a vehicle, Perry is coming along. Dinners are planned in advance and McKenzie is usually the head chef. Wednesday is leftover night. You heat it, you eat it, and you clean the container. If you don’t, it goes to the outside dogs. No playing in the shower allowed!! You pre-rinse, wash, rinse, and get the heck out, quietly!! The television and all electronic devices get shut down at 8:00pm thanks to the magical help from OurPact, and the hum of white noise is then played throughout the house. During a late night code red situation, shooting earmuffs on sleeping big kids keep the house in order (don’t judge me, it works great). McKenzie now keeps a pair on her bedside table. Smart girl.

As adults, we can’t just put some earmuffs on to silence life, yet it’s still important for us to have a quick break from the chaos of the circus. Caroline Myss once said, “The soul usually knows how to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” So how do I accomplish this? I treat myself to one hour of complete silence and relaxation a month with a massage thanks to my good friend and Licensed Massage Therapist/Certified Stretch Therapist Mrs. Leslie Cohen of Tranquillite Massage Therapy. You can take my “man card” right now and I wouldn’t care. It’s an hour of complete silence where I’m not in charge, nobody is asking me anything, and my thoughts are shut down. It’s a brief moment in life when I truly surrender both mind and body. It’s not just me though, Erica herself gets a monthly massage as well. In fact, she gets the 90-minute massage sometimes but I don’t have that kind of time…

Some go hiking, fishing, or what’s described as getting close to nature. I read, I walk, I talk to cows, and I get a massage. Life is noisy, life is busy, and the craziness can consume us. We all must find something that keeps us centered. Pray, write, read, paint, but most importantly, slow life down for just a moment and silence the mind. I hope you can find something that works for you. I would love to hear what others do to silence the mind. Give me your thoughts. More importantly, make sure you tell some I love you today.

Until next week,
Matt Boyer
Tell Someone I Love You Today 

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