The GOOP Holiday Gift Guide: Get Ready to Giggle

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Rejoice! The 2016 GOOP Holiday Gift Guide is here

YES. It’s that time of year again: the GOOP Holiday Gift Guide is here! You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel poor. It’s a holiday tradition!

That’s right, every year Gwyneth Paltrow amasses a list of ridiculous gifts that no one can afford, and the internet makes fun of her for being so out of touch. This year she’s labeled the insanely expensive part of her list as “The Ridiculous But Awesome Gift Guide” which translates to “HAHAHAHAHA, LOOK AT HOW RICH SOME OF US ARE.”

She’s really outdone herself this year. Let’s enjoy together, shall we?

Leather Bike, $2,995

bike

Image via jaysonhome.com

“Saddle up.” Get it? Sort of? Saddles are made of leather. So is this $3000 bike. You can’t afford it anyway, so GOOP doesn’t care if you get their joke or not.

 

Vintage Limoges Banana Box, $395

banana

Image via Jay Jeffers The Store

Sorry. It’s sold out.

Custom Pet Pendant, $6,850

cat

 

You can dress your pet up, get their portrait done, and then get this custom $7000 necklace made. Or you can just set a pile of money on fire and laugh like a maniac. Your choice.

 

Groovyyurts Super Ger 20′ Yurt, $8,300

yurt

Image via ecprovisionco.com

Why buy a tent, when you can buy a yurt? “Glamping doesn’t begin to cover it,” says Gwyneth.

Toothpaste, $120

toothpaste

 

Good news, we can afford it. Bad news, it’s toothpaste. Gwyneth’s poking fun at herself with this one by simply captioning it, “To go with last year’s fancy toothpaste squeezer,” which now looks like a bargain since it was chrome-plated and just $100 more than this toothpaste.

Oh, Gwyneth. Never change.

-by Maria Guido
Scary Mommy


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