Ten Things I’ve Learned After Taking My Kids on Vacation

 

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This is perfectly appropriate for this post-spring break recovery period.

    1. Vacation as a parent is significantly more work than vacation as a child. SIGNIFICANTLY.
    2. Although it is true that some babies sleep better in bed with their mommies, my baby simply sees it as an opportunity to stay up late and talk.
    3. There should be an Olympic sport category in which competitors are required to take a wet 2-year-old to the bathroom, wrestle him out of his wet underwear and swimsuit and then put both underwear and swimsuit back on … all while holding a baby.
    4. On my list of least desirable jobs, lifeguard at an insane kids’ waterpark is somewhere in the top 10.
    5. Moms come in all shapes and sizes, but of all the swimsuited moms I saw this weekend, none of them looked like Heidi Klum. This takes some of the pressure off the rest of us …
    6. The word “menu” should be replaced with the words “waffle fry” because after a 2-year-old has one from, say, his father’s plate, that’s all he will request from every menu everywhere.
    7. Every. Single. Strap. on Every. Single. restaurant high chair is BROKEN. EVERY one, I tell you!
    8. When you are on vacation with children at a child-centered place, it is almost guaranteed that someone somewhere will throw up. If it is not your child who does the throwing up, you can be certain the throwing up will happen on your child’s shoes.
    9. The day after vacation, even children who are completely worn out, will still wake in the 5 and 6 o’clock hours. (If this is only true in my household, don’t tell me because I don’t want to hear about it.)
    10. Watching your kids have the BEST time ever is the BEST feeling ever and makes it worth it all. We had so much fun and can’t wait to do it again!

-by Jai Wallace Tracy
jai

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