Kids Say the Darnedest Things…True Life Version

kids

We found this collection of funny things kids have said, as reported by their parents. Can you top these?

My friend was having a hard time getting her daughter to drink water. At lunch one day the little one loudly exclaimed that “drinking makes mummy happy”.   – Sarah Kerby, Facebook

At a birthday party recently my 6-year-old cousin came up to me while eating cake, waved a plate in my face and said, “Josie, the air smells like freedom.”   – Josephine Rose Gilchrist, Facebook

I was breastfeeding my newborn son one day, when my 4-year-old daughter asked if one boob made chocolate milk and the other made white.   – chrissyh4423f5524

My nephew recently informed me that squirrels eat acorns because they don’t like Mexican food.    – lizzys6

About halfway through a spaghetti dinner my 3-year-old daughter asked what the green stuff on the pasta was. When I told her it was parsley, she threw up her hands and said, “Well, I’ve never had it before, and now. My life. Is ruined.”    – christinehoros

My 7-year-old was convinced she could speak Spanish thanks to Dora. One day at a Mexican restaurant the waitress said “Gracias!” and with all the conviction in the world my daughter responded “Piñata!” –abbyn4b61db9b2

I’m a preschool teacher, and the other day a little girl was standing next to me and stroking my eyebrow with her finger. When I asked what she was doing she said, “I’m your eyebrow petter.”    – emilyc48bc555db

One day my 4-year-old was upstairs and yelled, “ouch!” When I asked what happened he yelled down to me, “I stubbed my toe! The one that ate roast beef!”.   – jennmemolic

One day my daughter leaned in and said to me, “Don’t worry mommy, I love you and would never kill you.”- kathygreeleyc

My 5-year-old daughter is a vegan. One day I caught her picking her nose and eating it and told her to stop. Her reply: “Why, are buggers not vegan?”  – Jessica Masterson, Facebook

We were in an elevator at a hotel going to the pool. It was me, my 5-year-old son, a teenage boy, and his dad. Suddenly, my son announces, “My mom isn’t usually half naked, we’re going swimming.”  – amandas41fb36e3a

Putting my son to bed one night he stroked my face, looked at me lovingly, and whispered in my ear that I was a “stupid dog”.    – Emma Tasker, Facebook

One day I caught my two year old daughter playing in my closet. She was hiding and all I saw were her little feet. I asked her what she was doing and she replied, “oh, I’m just farting in your closet,” in this nonchalant, toddler tone…    – Pamela Quigley, Facebook

Read more HERE!

 

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