The Daddy Diaries: Puke & Panties

Reprinted with permission from The Daddy Diaries. 

I’m gonna call this story “Puke & Panties”.

Abby and Emma have headed to Oklahoma for a few days. So Nan, Pops, April, Gracee and I went to have a late lunch at Tuscan Slice.

Gracee can’t get more than 2′ away from her Nan, so she was sitting between my mom and dad. Mom was eating a salad, and she gave Gracee a bite.

Gracee choked on a piece of lettuce and then puked all over the place. All over Nan. All over Pops. All over the booth. And all over herself. It set a pretty interesting pace for the rest of our lunch.

Even over the delicious taste and smells of the Italian lunches that each of us received, the unpleasant stench of puke continued to make its presence known every so often. And the smell of a fresh ralph kinda/sorta makes me wanna die. Like seriously. So I just kind of only breathed out of my mouth like a Neanderthal for the rest of our visit so I wouldn’t errrp my cannelloni right back up on the table.

Once lunch was complete, we paid and then began to gather our things to leave. Because Gracee smelled like me on New Year’s morning of 2004 (not good), I made Pops carry her out. Hey…he already smelled like puke. No need to make me stink too.

panties

As I stood up to leave, I felt an odd tickle on my ankle. I looked down to find something….odd. A piece of red lace hanging from the opening of my pants leg. Confused, I reach down and gently pull a lacy, sexy pair of red panties out of the leg of my jeans. April looks at me with a curious look, and then hisses at me, “those are my panties!!!”

I swear, you guys….I haven’t been wearing April’s panties. I have no idea how they got in my pants. But I do know that the waitress that watched me pull them out of my britches enjoyed herself. Very much.

Nothing to see here, folks. Just a normal ol’ run of the mill lunch in the Stamper household.

-by Stoney Stamper

stoney

Latest articles

Leadership Rogers County Visits Area Non-Profits

It was Quality of Life Day for the 2021 class of Leadership Rogers County. The class toured and met with multiple Claremore area nonprofits...

Local Author Releases ‘Camelot’ on Amazon

Halloween is right around the corner, but finding spooky fun might be a challenge this year. Cheer up, horror lovers! One of our own...

Where to See Spooky Decorations in Claremore!

Since it's not time to look at Christmas lights yet, why not drive the family around and check out Halloween decorations? Claremore resident Lori...

Watch Powerful Film “Resilience” for FREE!

The Northeast Workforce Board is pleased to partner with the Potts Family Foundation to co-host this extraordinary event in Northeast Oklahoma. The event will...

Similar articles