All right, hungry friends, we’ve made it through Part One and Part Two of our Top Secret Menu investigation. Granted, some of the items are incredibly lame. But it’s still fun. We’re going to round out the fun with McDonald’s and Taco Bell.
I eat at McDonald’s more often than I should. I’m fully aware, so no need for judgment. That being said, I have never eaten a hamburger from McDonald’s. There’s not a particular reason for this; I like chicken at fast food places and hamburgers from real restaurants. It’s just a quirk, and now it’s a fun goal that I’m working on keeping. I just think I’d be really disappointed in a McDonald’s burger. I had Big Mac sauce on a chicken sandwich recently, and did not enjoy it at all.
But if you do like the Big Mac sauce (and it seems I’m the minority), you can order a side of it and use it to dip your fries. McDonald’s also has a variety of dipping sauces that a lot of folks don’t know about, because they keep them all hoarded behind the counter. (By the way, the habanero ranch is fabulous and will clean out your sinuses for sure.)
As with many of the other restaurants we’ve looked at, McDonald’s has a heart attack-causing monstrosity in a few forms; the one that caught my eye is the Land, Sea and Air Burger. To make this beast burger happen, order a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, and a McChicken. Add the fish and chicken to your Big Mac. Good luck.
Another wacky burger creation at McDonald’s is the McGangbang, so named because it’s the biggest ‘bang’ for your buck. Order a McDouble and a McChicken, and add them together. Use as many buns as you want! The best part is, these sandwiches are both on the dollar menu.
If you’re feeling fancy at breakfast, order some hotcakes and a yogurt parfait and create your own McCrepe by smearing the yogurt onto the hotcake and folding it in half.
The month of March is around the corner, so it’s nearly time for the Shamrock Shake. Do it one step better this year and order a McLeprechaun Shake: 50/50 mixture of both the Shamrock & chocolate shakes.
I’m going to wrap up McDonald’s here. The secret menu is really long, so you can read all about it here and see what I didn’t cover.
Taco Bell is next in our investigation. When I was in high school in the 90s, I ate at Taco Bell literally nearly every day. I got a kid’s meal almost daily after school (because it’s not cool to eat lunch in high school). After months of that behavior, I got terribly tired of Taco Bell. (And then I discovered Bueno and never looked back.) I’ve eaten at Taco Bell exactly once since high school, and I ordered a cup of cheese and some plain chips. That being said, I’m certainly no expert on this establishment. (Update: I just remembered that I ate at Taco Bell when they debuted the Doritos taco. I wasn’t impressed. Carry on.)
First up is the Enchirito, which I guess is a cross between an enchilada and a burrito. To order, tell the employee taking your order you’d like an enchilada with beef, beans, and cheese. (How is this different from a beef enchilada? The beans, I guess?)
Another secret menu item is the Taco Bell Chili Cheese Burrito, which is a bean burrito with added chili and cheese. Might want to pop an Immodium before you order that. Or some extra underpants.
Taco Bell has several superhero-themed items, including The Hulk and The Incredible Hulk. There seems to be plenty of guacamole and layers involved with those. Another is The Superman, “a Cheesy Double Beef burrito loaded with extra potatoes, sour cream, guacamole, and crispy tortilla strips.” Hope you pack your superhero antacids, too.
There are several other fast food restaurants that feature “top secret” items. Feel free to check out the whole list!
Also, we had a reader comment that it’s too bad we didn’t cover “non-fast food” restaurants, but unfortunately, I didn’t come across any in my online hunting. However, there is a great website called Top Secret Recipes, and you can make your own “real” restaurant food at home from such places as Cheesecake Factory, Applebee’s and LongHorn Steakhouse.
Happy eating, and happy cooking!
-MCM Staffer Ashley,
who still has zero desire to eat at Taco Bell