Hilarious: McDonald’s Menu Items that were a Bust

I’ve never eaten a McRib. I’m not even sure what kind of meat that is. I’ve also never eaten a McDonald’s hamburger; this is kind of a claim to fame for me. But I do love McNuggets. (Don’t tell me it’s not chicken; I don’t want to hear it.) And fries.

Sometimes, McDonald’s likes to shake things up a bit and introduce some crazy new items to keep Americans interested (and unhealthy). Some of these I remember, and others…I’m glad I don’t.

McSoup. So, much like Subway, McD’s served Campbell’s Soup in a cup. It was only in select markets during the winter months. Guess it was a flop. Probably because you can buy a can of Campbell’s and heat it up yourself. People can’t make their own Big Mac.

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Son of Mac. Like I said, I’m not a McDonald’s burger person, but this is supposedly the smaller version of a Big Mac. So it’s like a hamburger. With that weird Big Mac sauce.

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McPizza. My first though was, “Huh? Really?” It was weird enough when Subway started selling pizza. But I had to laugh when I read the two major reasons that the McPizza was a fail: it took 11 minutes to cook, which defies the reasoning behind fast food, and the boxes wouldn’t fit through the drive-thru window. Hahaha.

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McJordan Special. This is a hamburger with bacon, barbecue sauce, and Michael Jordan’s name. I can bet he never ate one. I also read that jugs of the special Jordan barbecue sauce were being sold online for thousands of dollars. Huh?

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Chopped Beefsteak Sandwich. At least they didn’t call it the “McBeefsteak.” I guess there was a time when McD’s tried to class up the joint as a dinner restaurant, so they started serving these fancy sandwiches (along with their fancy ketchup). In this case, it was packets of fancy steak sauce. Big fail. Apparently Burger King didn’t get the FAIL memo and tried to do their own version.

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Onion Nuggets. Chunks of fried onions were also part of the “McDonald’s is a nice dinner date restaurant” campaign.

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McSalad Shakers. Even though I don’t eat salad, I do remember these. I guess it’s salad in a cup, you add the dressing in, then shake it around. Seems like a lot of (messy) work to me. And probably difficult to eat salad from a cup.

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McSpaghetti. What?! No. Just no. Some restaurants even had fettuccine and lasagna. NO.

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McLean Deluxe. America’s favorite grease trap has tried to lure in the healthy crowd from time to time, mainly with yums like the McLean Deluxe. This was lean beef made with seaweed extract. Blech.

tumblr_lsvvjqWQDe1r18uikBacon Bacon McBacon. It seems Australia wanted to jump on the “heart attack on a plate” concept that America so loves, and they began selling this monstrosity. It was a burger topped with FIVE slices of bacon, barbecue sauce and cheese. The bun was dipped in pork drippings. It was removed from the menu to save millions of Aussies from keeling over with cardiac arrest. Sadly, we don’t have a photo of this….thing.

Eggs Benedict McMuffin. More proof that McD’s should stick to what they know and not try to be all fancy pants.

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McDLT. Back in the 80s, a big fear in society was SOGGY LETTUCE. At least, the bright minds at McDonald’s marketing headquarters thought so. Thus, the McDLT….that you had to assemble yourself. Seems customers had the mindset that they were eating at McDonald’s, not working there, so it wasn’t really their job to put together their own sandwich. FAIL.

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Hulaburger. My mom is Catholic, so she eats fish on Fridays during Lent. She often stops at McDonald’s for a Filet-O-Fish. Back in the 60s, a franchise owner in a primarily Roman Catholic area was having trouble with Friday sales. The owner and Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s, decided to each come up with a new product to help alleviate the issue. Kroc invented the Hulaburger, in which the beef portion of the burger was swapped with pineapple. The franchise owner came up with the Filet-O-Fish. Pretty sure he won, since my mom isn’t stuck eating Hulaburgers on Fridays. Thank goodness.

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McAfrica. During the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, McDonald’s debuted this disaster. “A taste of Africa with two all-beef patties, cheese, fresh tomato and lettuce dressed with an exotic African sauce of mayonnaise and spices.” Hey, McDonald’s, where are people in the midst of a famine? AFRICA. I’ve never been to Africa, but I bet it doesn’t taste like mayonnaise.

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