As the father of a little girl, I have spent many hours amongst the musical world of Disney princesses. The magical journey of finding Prince Charming against all odds is one that captivates the hearts of women everywhere. In every Disney story, the young princess is propelled into a relationship of fireworks and unexpected affection that sweeps her off her feet. Majority of the time, this is from some young hottie-mc-hotterson that she has just met. Even though falling in love is grand and magical like a Disney movie….it takes more than a Disney Prince to make a marriage last forever.
I met my princess in high school when I was 15 years old. Over time we became the best of friends and six years later we began our happily ever after in 2008 when we got married. The day we got married was hands down one of those moments that are filed away in my lifetime highlight reel that I will always remember and will regularly reflect on. Fast forward, in what seems like a blink of an eye, we have now been married for almost six years. In that time we have overcome a lot together. Trials come in all shapes and sizes in life’s journey. Sometimes you get a hill and sometimes you get a mountain but I have learned that as long as you have your best friend by your side you can tackle anything.
Today there are so many voices downplaying the importance of affectionately working through hard times to make a marriage last. Living for the quick thrill and the new thing because life is all about partying is celebrated in the daily media all too often. Divorce rates are much higher than they should be and I think all of this marital unhappiness comes down to people forgetting that love stories don’t end at happily ever after, that’s where they begin.
If you notice, in the majority of Disney movies, the movie ends with the two young lovebirds finally falling in love or getting married. Not many times do you see what happens after real life steps in. I would love to believe that all Disney couples go on to have a life long marriage full of love and laughter. More than likely though a scenarios such as this will play out before ya know it….One day the Prince forgets to take out the trash which irritates the Princess and causes all sorts of past emotions that she has bottled up to boil to the surface and all of a sudden the Prince is on the couch wondering what happened. Sound familiar? So many of these unfortunate moments add up to the point where sometimes couples forget about their magical beginnings. So as a husband, how can you in your marriage be above and beyond any couch sleeping Prince Charming? With a few simple things to always remember….
1. Some People Are Worth Melting For: So many men see affection as a weakness. Many feel like if they were to show even a hint of love towards their spouse, they would be deemed as a softy. I am here to tell you that anyone woman anywhere approves of being told that they are loved through words, hand holding, kissing, hugging etc. It’s pretty much proven by science that the more you show your love towards your wife, the more she will return the favor. If your fire of passion is dwindling in your marriage try just once or twice a day to check your wife out and tell her you love her. She may not throw herself at you immediately but she will notice that you are melting for her.
2. Paint With All the Colors of the Wind: It’s apparent that women and men are different from each other. She probably played with Barbie dolls growing up and you most likely spent your youth blowing up stuff. That continues on in marriage. Your spouse will enjoy things that you don’t; plain and simple. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t spend time doing what she loves. Each week I bite the bullet and hunker down for 2-4 hours of the bachelor. My time could be spent doing sooooo many other things but because I love my wife I not only watch but I pick favorites and talk about it with her non stop. Whatever the activity may be, the more you invest in your spouse the more of a return you will receive.
3. Pumba, Not in Front of the Kids: I read a blog once where a husband wrote about all the things he learned from marriage after he got divorced and what he would do if he could do it all over again. One of the most notable of his list was that he would stop passing gas in front of his wife. I examined this in my own life and found that overall, husbands tend to forget that they need to be attractive for their wives. Ultimately 9 out of 10 wives will admit openly that hygiene and overall self-presentation are more than important to a happy marriage. I would encourage you to show her how much you love her by taking good care of yourself and be a man, not a warthog.
4. She’s the Beauty, So Don’t be a Beast: Men have tempers. I for one am definitely a prime example of someone who loses it and loses it quickly. As your mom always taught you, patience is a virtue, a virtue your wife will appreciate. When you have “marital discussions” (aka arguments), remember that there are two sides to every story and when you work together to find common ground you will always be better off than the old silent treatment. Sometimes love is shown best by a listening ear and an understanding heart.
5. Go, Live Your Dream: Marriage is a journey that both of you are on. She will change and so will you. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is up to you. Setting goals as a couple and working to grow together is so important. Know humbly that not all of us are on the same level but all of us need help to grow. As you work together you will look back on your lives together happy you chose to be happily ever after.
There are many more things to work on every day as a husband than just these 5 things. However, if your Disney romance has taken an unexpected turn and you’re looking to work to make things better, this is a good place to start. I know that I am lucky to have found my one true love and I work hard to become a better husband so that our happily ever after will last to infinity and beyond. I hope you do too.